WILLOW GROVE, Pa. (WLVT) - With baby blankets lining the floor and toys strewn everywhere, a group of eight men sat in a semi-circle They were attending DadLab, a program run through Abington – Jefferson Health that helps new and expectant fathers cope with having a new child.
DadLab was founded nearly two years ago as a peer-to-peer mentoring community.
Jay Cherney, DIRECTOR DADLAB: “We’re a resource and a community that helps people adapt to this incredible and complex transition from man to dad,” said Jay Cherney, DadLab director.
The group talks about issues like babyproofing, the best car seat brands, common health issues and time management. Rather than teach or preach, Cherney said, he merely facilitates the discussion.
“It’s a grand experiment,” Cherney said. “They’re trying out all these different things and hearing how it’s working for other people.
Dads usually start with a 2.5-hour introductory workshop with their partners. Then they come to sessions held every other Saturday morning at Abington Health Center – Willow Grove.
“This is my first session here so obviously there’s a lot to absorb,” said expectant father Richard Veith, whose baby is due in March. “Even the questions are yet quite formulated in my bed.”
Parents have long-term decisions to make, like whether or not to breastfeed, and more mundane ones. One expectant dad, Michael Antwi, III, said his biggest fear was the quotidian, day-to-day details.
“Having the baby, handling the baby, making sure the baby’s educated and always mentally active,” said Antwi, whose baby is due in December.
On this September morning, the men traded war stories: diaper accidents, crying on planes, getting enough sleep, and fending off strangers who want to touch their babies. Most of all, the current dads reassured the expectant dads that they would be ready when the time came.
“Be open minded,” said Trey Watanabe, father of 9-month-old Asher. “You’re not going to know exactly how to react to a situation. I should do this, but your baby doesn’t respond. You have to say, ‘Well, all right. What’s next?’”
While couples’ parenting groups are important, Cherney said, men may feel more free to discuss topics at this dad-only group.
Jay Cherney, DIRECTOR DADLAB: “I think there’s some unique things about the way men are, and how men adapt to the role of parent,” Cherney said. “Having a place to talk just among men, I think, is a freeing thing.”
DadLab attracts a diverse group of dads. In one meeting, there were working dads, a stay-at-home dad, an adoptive dad, a single dad and a dad using a surrogate. Despite their different situations, they agreed they all had one thing in common: the desire to be the best dads they can be.
“The anticipation and the call from within myself to do this,” said Veith. “If you feel that, go with it. Run with it.”
The program is supported by a grant and is free to participants.
Abington – Jefferson Health also runs a couples’ peer-mentoring group where parents discuss their babies’ impact on their own relationships.
Since DadLab only includes dads with babies under a year old, Cherney is already developing another group: DadLab Toddlers.
